I staggered bleary eyed into our farm office.  My first born baby was asleep, my hubby was at work and I was surrounded by piles of paperwork and parched paddocks. All of a sudden my heart began to beat more wildly than a Byron Bay drumming circle (that’s pretty wild) and before I knew it I found myself on the floor, curled in the clichéd foetal position crying like a baby. As my muscles cramped in spasm and I heaved for breath I pleaded (to whomever might have been listening) “Why the “eff” am I here, what the “effen, eff” is life about?"

This all might sound like some weirdo movie, but… I kid you not, suddenly the sun came out from behind the clouds and shone directly through the office windows and onto lil ‘ ol’ me (curled on the floor in a blubbering pile of snot and tears.)  I instantly felt warm and nurtured my muscles and mind relaxed and I was peaceful for what felt like the first time ever.

It was in that “movie scene moment” that I got my answer: I understood in every fibre of my being that I was my biggest life project. I realised the world didn’t owe me anything, in actual fact I owed it to the world to stand up, discover who I was and contribute in my own cool-bananas way.

It dawned on me that my life wasn’t random and without meaning. It was filled with coincidences. Every bullshit drama and sob story in my life had happened for a reason- to get me to take notice of my life so I could make the choice to start living purposefully.  And so I rolled the dice and began to play the game…